• "Hey, George, update my upcoming gigs! What do I pay you for?"

  - Dan Naturman

  Comedian

• "Just typing this so I can be on Dan Naturman's Billboard. That's fujizzle!"

  - G-Thang

  N-Word

• "Dan is way sexier than Gwyneth Paltrow. Way."

  - Shnorik Aslanyan

  Cobbler

• "Gay"

  - Mike

  Observer

• "Dan Naturman is one of the funniest people on the planet. He's a natural."

  - Linda

  The Discount Queen

• "Dan I love you, and your full red lips."

  - Dr. Justy Dodge

  Sanskrit Scholar

• "Tss, he makes me feel like a Natur-al woman, or somethin'"

  - Lyle Chipperson

  "Chip"

• "If I were alive, you would totally crack me up."

  - Lee Harvey Oswald

  Framed Patsy

• "You keep me sane."

  - Carlos Casadores

  Indo-European

• "Sorry, I don't have any quotes right now. Check back soon!"

  - Jack

  WebMaster

• "Dude you are funny!"

  - Mike

  The Man

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