• "Hey, George, update my upcoming gigs! What do I pay you for?"

  - Dan Naturman

  Comedian

• "I'm appearing at the Cellar tonight. Please RT."

  - Jeff Lamp

  Comedian

• "Dan is sexier than George Clooney and Brad Pitt rolled together in a hot, sweaty, sticky clump."

  - Trixie "7-10" Mulloy

  Professional Bowler

• "Even if he never does anything else, he will always be remembered as creator of the smash hit FrankenComic. "

  - Naturman fan

  with nothing better to do

• "Just typing this so I can be on Dan Naturman's Billboard. That's fujizzle!"

  - G-Thang

  N-Word

• "Dan smells really good today."

  - Dan's

  stalker

• "Howza Bowta new CD, huh?"

  - Sol Berkowitz

  Senor

• "Can I kiss you, please? On the mouth...sorry."

  - Scotty

  Idiot

• "Dan has the big lips of a black!"

  - Melton

  South African

• "Pick up some crest white strips at your local supermarket and see what it does to your smile you will be amazed by the power of Crest."

  - Crest

  Toothpaste

• "Quicktime needs your permission to run."

  - QuickTime

  Player

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