• "Hey, George, update my upcoming gigs! What do I pay you for?"

  - Dan Naturman

  Comedian

• "Just typing this so I can be on Dan Naturman's Billboard. That's fujizzle!"

  - G-Thang

  N-Word

• "Dan is nailing it week after week. People, please, for the love of God, listen to goddamn Naturman."

  - Podcast

  listener

• "Pick up some crest white strips at your local supermarket and see what it does to your smile you will be amazed by the power of Crest."

  - Crest

  Toothpaste

• "dan is funny i guess"

  - Rick

  funny

• "Go West,Dan."

  - Julien Delacroix

  Count

• "Dude you are funny!"

  - Mike

  The Man

• "You keep me sane."

  - Carlos Casadores

  Indo-European

• "Quicktime needs your permission to run."

  - QuickTime

  Player

• "My quote disappeared"

  - Prior

  contributor

• "Dan is only funny when I'm high, lucky for me I'm always high!"

  - Wendel Zimer

  Pothead

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