If you still don’t have a copy of my CD, “Get Off My Property”, what are you waiting for? For my Canadian fans, it makes a great Victoria Day present. But you don’t have to be Canadian to laugh at my jokes about marriage, the Internet and, yes, masturbation. You can get your copy online from Amazon.com or even Apple itunes. Order now!
The Dan Naturman Show podcast is back and better than ever. Me and my co-host, Rob, better known as Razz, Azzinari (I think that’s how you spell Azzinari) talk about pop culture, the news and more! Well, mainly just pop culture and the news. Also, I complain about my career a lot. If you liked “Small Wonder”, you’ll love The Dan Naturman Show!
This ainte your father’s DanNaturman.com. In lieu of paying my taxes, I hired webmaster to the stars Mike Casentini to build me an all new site with all the fixins. There’s even a quote box located on the homepage just to the right of my beautiful face. The quote box gives “YOU” the user an opportunity to contribute your very own quote about “ME”, Dan Naturman.* Located at the top of the page is my audio player, which allows you to listen to my recent podcast while you peruse the rest of my website. Speaking of my podcast, make sure you subscribe so that you never miss an episode.
*Quotes that are obscene, anti-semitic or otherwise in poor taste will be deleted if inaccurate.
Fans of “The Dan Naturman Show” podcast know that from time to time we do a segment called “Real Books/Fake Excerpts”. This is where I read a fake excerpt, that I wrote, from an actual real book, that somebody else wrote. Here’s one I read on a recent epidose that tickled my co-host Rob’s funnybone in a major way. The real book is: Emily Post’s Etiquette, The Definitive Guide to Manners, 17 Edition, by Peggy Post. Collins, 2004.
And here’s the fake excerpt:
From Chapter 15 – Greetings and Introductions
Freaks and the Deformed
People with Hook Hands – When being introduced to someone with a hook for a hand the first issue we must address is the handshake. Proper etiquette generally dictates that one shakes with the right hand. But, you may ask, what if the hook is on the right hand? The rule remains the same – we shake with our right hand. Shake the hook itself if you can do so without injury. If not, grab the wood behind the hook and shake that. Another important thing to remember when interacting with hook-handed people is that until you have devoloped a very good rapport with the individual, it is not appropriate to ask him or her to use their hook to help you open a bottle. Nor is it good manners to create an awkward situation by struggling to open a bottle in an obvious or exaggerated fashion hoping they offer you their hook. We must simply wait and enjoy our beverage later. Finally, and most importantly, just as you would not ask a Greek person that you had just met “so what diner do you work at?”, you should not just assume a person with a hook hand is a pirate. A well mannered person never makes assumptions based on stereotypes.
